The Manager With 2 Heads Disaster

A Manager With 2 Heads Often Gets Away with Murder

When asked, “How come you’ve got two heads?” the manager with two heads replied, “I have one for my left brain and one for my right brain.” Then he smiled at his interviewer and said: “but it’s all good because I never listen to my right brain. I’m told there are things like intuition, empathy and creativity there, but I don’t bother with any of that namby-pamby stuff because I know that I can rely on my impeccable knowledge and logic.”

And that is how the manager with two heads is responsible for murdering ideas and innovative thinking every day. He simply doesn’t have time for anything new in his world. He is responsible for results and he knows, with great self-certainty, that the way to get results is to set goals and then micro-manage everyone in his team until the target is eventually achieved.

Lousy Listener Syndrome

Even though he is blessed with four ears the manager with two heads is a poor listener. He hears only what he wants to hear. He does not like to waste time on human stories, he is only interested in hearing what is going on. He likes to ask lots of questions and to hear only answers that please him. So, guess what, people only tell him things that they think will please him.

The manager with two heads is not easy to get on with. He gets over heated when even the smallest thing goes wrong. It is like a personal affront to him when mistakes occur or when a piece of work looks as if it might not be delivered on time. He can never admit that he has been mistaken or that he has made a mistake. If it appears likely that he will be exposed he immediately finds something or someone else to blame. He must maintain his position as “Mr. Perfect.”

Is He a Parrot or a Thinker?

You may have met a manager with two heads. He possibly had a degree or even a doctorate in some subject or other. This qualification leads him to believe that he is very knowledgeable and a great thinker. But it often turns out that he is actually a great parrot, someone who can regurgitate knowledge on demand but is not actually a learner at all.

The problem with the two headed manager is that they create blockages. Because they can get results (never mind the cost) they can be difficult to move. It can often appear that the solution to the blockage was to promote two-heads so as to create space for someone else. This strategy is employed remarkably often and nearly always with disastrous results because two-heads now believes that the promotion is proof that he is in fact very good at his job. As a result he know micromanages his replacement until the replacement becomes impotent to achieve anything worthwhile. But, because he has just been promoted, those above now cannot admit that they are guilty of an error of judgement, they leave him in the job.

If your manager has 2 heads it may be time to move on. To request a move to another department. Or even to look for another employer.